Delayed Not Denied: Tired of Living Someone Else's Life?

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." Steve Jobs

Sleep Walking

Have you ever woken up, looked around, and couldn’t see anything around that resembled you? I mean not one thing reflected the inner parts of you. You recognize the things in the room but none of it connects with the you, you know is quietly waiting to appear. I won’t say you are invisible but it definitely is difficult to see you. Sure, people can see you, because you are a big presence, undeniable in personality stature, yet unrecognizable to yourself. While this may sound strange to some, I know there are people out there who can relate to this moment, unlike any other moment you ever experienced. The funny thing is, in plain view most would assume life is great, based on the societal norms that are used to measure the life experience of “great” but it goes a little deeper than that, in fact a lot deeper.

Finding My Voice

Acknowledging my truth is not a time to complain, it is a time to be accountable for dropping the “Me” ball and never looking back, until NOW. Saying with my loud voice, “I am done living someone else’s life!” because I am enough to accomplish my big dreams, walk the path leaving my own footprints. While my fortune of carrying on the legacy of family is amazing, there is something I must do to be effective in that role. Do you know what that is? Well, I have to be willing to find me in the process of continuing my parent’s legacy and truly establishing my own legacy; notable enough for my children to even want to model.

Who am I?

Just to provide a little background, I am the youngest of five raised by my father and mother in the same household, who were one thousand percent committed to making family a source of strength even in some of the most difficult times; a devoted wife (15+ years) and mother of two young warriors 16 and 10 (kings in training); and I’d like to think loyal to family and friends. First generation college graduate with an advanced degree, reinforcing the need for an opportunity to have a seat at the table (and yes it worked). Accomplished in career, life, etc. according to the standards established by society. Truly I AM BLESSED.

A note to the wise, from the wise…Choose the Life that Brings You Joy

Pinball - Win or Lose

I’ve been moving toward these things since birth. Reminds me of a good old game of pinball. The object of the game is the keep the ball moving so it doesn’t fall into the hole, which would lead to “game over.” As in most games, you are given three lives which allows a couple of mistakes along the way, but remember, keep moving. The good news is you get points throughout the game as long as you are doing your best to hit the areas that give you the highest points (school, career, relationship, family). Figuring out the best strategy leads to constantly scoring high. Unfortunately, it gives the delusion that you are winning, but no matter how high you score on the board (within the game frame provided) you never quite reach your highest score because that space only gives you limited access. The frame places value on the things you hit correctly and fools you into believing you only have value if you hit everything in the frame. You are much more than what is in that frame. In fact, mobility begins once the ball goes in the hole and you hold the ball making a clear decision where you want it to go next.

I am holding the ball, looking at the ball inside and out, ready to go from movement to mobility. I reached my highest score inside the frame, box or whatever reference resembles limited space. Done living someone else’s life. Finally, ready to live my own. How about you? What does your ball look like once you get past the shine?